Saturday, 9 February 2013

Fault Line

fault line
  1. A line on a rock surface or the ground that traces a geological fault.
  2. A divisive issue or difference of opinion that is likely to have serious consequences.

I look down toward my feet, my eyes follow the hairline fracture in the ground as it disappears over the horizon line; mostly straight, but there are some tiny cracks branching off, it zig-zags a little. It doesn't look like much, but then again neither did the supposedly surmountable chunk of ice floating in the ocean that sank the titanic.

The surface-- a superficial depiction disproportionate to the havoc below. The smallest shift, slightest movement; detrimental. Pressure to the seemingly innocent crack is the causation of catastrophe.


  1. A deep fissure in the earth, rock, or another surface.
  2. A profound difference between people, viewpoints, feelings, etc.

From crack to chasm, the growing gap will consume you the minute you falter, falling off the eroding edges of what was once your peaceful existence.

The persistent feeling of walking such a fine line, tip toeing as though there were merely a delicate sheet of ice between me and the frigid water beneath, is exhausting.

But the moment you take a deep breath and realize that the ice has yet to crack and the fault line yet to expand, you can recognize that you're ok for now, and thats good enough. It has to be. Otherwise your entire life will be spent in a constant state of the fear of relapse. And that fear alone, perpetuates such negativity that relapse is almost inevitable.

If you do fall, if that tiny crack does give way to seemingly insurmountable depths, remember resilience. When the dust settles and the crash is over, find a foot-hold and climb. No matter how tough or long or hopeless the journey seems; climb. When you reach the top, take a look down. Disaster has given way to change. There is beauty and strength in this change that wasn't there before; hold on to it.

1 comment:

  1. I have the same feeling and anxiety about falling back into the chasm. You know, you're having this great (as great as it can get for you) time going and feeling good. Then a tiny voice creeps its way into your head. It asks "how long is this going to last", "when is the crash coming", "it's been awhile, don't you think it's time to visit the chasm again?" It starts messing with the "good"'s part of who we are.